Monday, November 17, 2008

Nightmare

Finally,

My nightmare of a semester has ended.

today I've just finished my last final exam subject, and will gladly put this horrible semester of mine behind me.

I have no idea how

I could have screwed this semester up

I think this is probably the worst semester I've had in the three years of my time in HELP

probably due to the fact that somehow

I wasn't in the mood to study at all.

That after so long til the sem has started, passed by, and finished in front of me but me still having the holiday hangover from my PREVIOUS sem break.

why?

why.

I felt that I had no motivation whatsoever

which is something that has been getting on me for the pass few semester

motivation is decreasing at a steady rate with each passing semester

hence is that's probably why my grades are at a similar downward slope?

dunno.

no motivation

due to what?

due to having no target to achieve

due to being single and having no moral support

due to being sick

due to having too many excuses?

maybe a bit of everything.

I cannot deny the fact that the things I've mentioned is indeed having a negative effect in my life

I want to change those situations

But change takes time

and time is not on my side.

On Saturday my aunt chatted with my mom, suggesting that I should travel to UK next year when my degree finishes to get my masters. My cousin bro is going during that time so they agree it would be a great time to tag along.

In my mind,

I don't mind going, if it does not burden my family financially, and I would certainly like the exposure.

But,

I held my stand that if my sickness haven't healed, I will not be going, or else I know I'll suffer.

Time is running out.

Time is running out.

Time is running out.

...

Nightmare of a semester has ended

I do not have high hopes for my grades this sem

A pass for every sub would be good enough

If not then I wouldn't complain as I know I deserved it.

Bad bad nightmare...


Hope I wake up to a better dawn.

3 comments:

shengnan said...

maybe we can meet up in UK?
hoho :P

cheer up bro!everything's gonna be fine :)

YuuEne said...

i also dun have motivation to study for a very long time. since year 1 no motivation d =__= even the nite before exam i also got no mood to study.

results for year 2 are the 'suckiest' =_= and i'm still not able to start year 3 subjects yet. I've got a lot of Ds =__= i think u're still not til the extend of having a D gua?

imm mei said...

do your part, sleep early, stop sitting infront of the laptop for hours, do research on your sickness ,google it, im sure alot of ppl have this problem as well, see how they manage it. There is never "too late", if you are not able to go now you can always go later in your older age. Exposure can be in different forms. The most important thing is you have to act now, think of a plan, a strategy, or something. You don't have a target, then try to find one, think hard, think of what is the ideal (be realistic) life you want,or the life you will feel fulfill and happy with, write it down, even it is in a blur/abstract form, find some inspiring books (inspiring books doesn't have to be those motivation books, we sometimes inspire by just a normal story book or magazine) or books that you are interested in to read, go to bookstore more, walk around to other sections besides those you always hang around,look at different things. you will eventually have some ideas. Since you blog about your problems and excuses, mean that you knows what your problem is, so please take SERIOUS ACTION on it. You have only one lifetime.
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