Anonymous IV

Things hasn't change a bit.

not a bit at all.

Then why am I yearning for the past?

Why am I so afraid to commit to the future?

Why am I scared to make the next move?

The move that I'm not even sure which would lead me to something good?

Confused, but at the same time excited.

This is certainly a first.

Nightmare

Finally,

My nightmare of a semester has ended.

today I've just finished my last final exam subject, and will gladly put this horrible semester of mine behind me.

I have no idea how

I could have screwed this semester up

I think this is probably the worst semester I've had in the three years of my time in HELP

probably due to the fact that somehow

I wasn't in the mood to study at all.

That after so long til the sem has started, passed by, and finished in front of me but me still having the holiday hangover from my PREVIOUS sem break.

why?

why.

I felt that I had no motivation whatsoever

which is something that has been getting on me for the pass few semester

motivation is decreasing at a steady rate with each passing semester

hence is that's probably why my grades are at a similar downward slope?

dunno.

no motivation

due to what?

due to having no target to achieve

due to being single and having no moral support

due to being sick

due to having too many excuses?

maybe a bit of everything.

I cannot deny the fact that the things I've mentioned is indeed having a negative effect in my life

I want to change those situations

But change takes time

and time is not on my side.

On Saturday my aunt chatted with my mom, suggesting that I should travel to UK next year when my degree finishes to get my masters. My cousin bro is going during that time so they agree it would be a great time to tag along.

In my mind,

I don't mind going, if it does not burden my family financially, and I would certainly like the exposure.

But,

I held my stand that if my sickness haven't healed, I will not be going, or else I know I'll suffer.

Time is running out.

Time is running out.

Time is running out.

...

Nightmare of a semester has ended

I do not have high hopes for my grades this sem

A pass for every sub would be good enough

If not then I wouldn't complain as I know I deserved it.

Bad bad nightmare...


Hope I wake up to a better dawn.

Anonymous III

"I would rather pass up late a fully completed/100% satisfied assignment, than to pass up on time a half-heartedly done/rush job assignment,"
quote Bryan Chong.

That, my friend, is the excuse I give to myself when I pass up my assignment late, and it does make sense, doesn't it?

well lately I've passed up 3 assignments 1 day late, the most recent one being today.
I know it's bad, and I know the consequences of maybe deducted marks. (this depends on lecturers you see, some won't mind if it's juz 1 day late, while some will even if u're 1 hour late)
And hell yeah, I do know that I'm lazy... XD
But in my opinion, why pass up a half-done, rushed job assignment that will get around 60 marks on time, when I can pass up a decently done assignment worth at least 70 marks 1 day late?

how it works in my college HELP:
late pass up penalty: 10% deducted from the actual mark given each day.
so it's like if u get 80% but pass up late by 1 day, it's 80%-8%=72%, or late by 2 days it's 80%-16% blah blah blah..
so...

the math goes like this: (assuming marks will be deducted)
pass up bad assignment on time = 60% over 100%
pass up good assignment late by 1 day = 70% - 70/100 = 63% over 100%

see? get my point?


.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I admit.. that it's still an excuse for doing something bad... LOL
1 more assignment due on the 12th!!! please don't give me the chance to use this excuse again, however much sense it makes.. T_T~
somebody plz save miiii from becoming who i don't want to be~~~ lalala XD

Another 1st Time

last Friday I accidentally twisted my right ankle while playing futsal with my buddies.

it was the first time in my life that I've twisted an ankle, and god it hurt like hell =..=

well not as painful compared when I broke my leg la, but still pretty horrible >"<

went to the doctor shortly afterwards and he said that I've "popped" a vein O.O"

simply hearing that statement send the shivers down my spine =.=

....

wasn't able to walk for 2 days, today 4 days after the incident I drove to class.
still walking kinda gingerly but I can drive edy so good enough improvement la I'd guess...

me leg looks fukin cacat for the last few days =..="

well thanks to me buddy Khai and his lao po for sending me to the doc and back home right after the incident happened, no small feat considering the fact that I was unable (obviously) to drive and he had to drive and park my HUGH 4X4 that he never previously drove before, and the hardest part was of course to park it back into my tiny parking lot after getting back to my condo >"<

Ayu and Tirus get a special mention for, ahem, their so-called "sick visit", in which they came into my house for less than 5 minutes to retrieve some stuffs they forgot to bring home during the previous mahjong session, plus curi some MP3 and porn and then left... LOL
well they did wish me well so...

and not forgetting lovely ms papaya who never forgets to show her care for me whether it's, in her own words, implicitly or explicitly... XD

to Mel who had the same fate as me while falling off her bed not long ago, now I finally understand what you had to go through and it sure sucks bad...

and TQ mom/dad/sis of course... lovely+caring+annoying as always ^^

and yeah to those mahjong kakis who kept me occupied the last few days when I wasn't able to move much, TQ very much for the company, although u guys bloody won too much $$$ from me !$@#$@% =..="

to everybody else,
stay safe, stay healthy, and stay injury-free.

Anonymous II

when you hold what values most to you
keep your fingers tight
firm but gentle
protect it from harm
but give it the freedom to roam

carefully.. carefully... carefully...

eventually...

finally?

Fun Quota

Alright, now officially my Fun Quota is used up.

So it's back to the serious and sticky end of stuffs.

I've been wasting my time away on meaningless things for way too long.

I've been running away from stuffs I don't wanna face.

I've been hiding my head under the hole which kinda make me don't see things that I don't wanna see.

Well, I've been very very bad lately.

So it's about time I start to do things I'm suppose to do, Properly.

I've been ignorant, I know.

I've been missing in action, this I'm also aware.

I've neglected some stuffs and also some people, I know and I wonder why am I such a jackass.

I feel guilty, and I'm deeply sorry to those who is in concern.

So, starting from now on, I will be the better "me".

Or at least, I will try to be that better me.

Please, if you may, help me and send some love and care to me.

Ever wondered how does it feel to lose direction?

To lose the driving force of motivation?

I think I know how that feels now.

I think I'm somewhat lost.

So so so...

Let's start from doing the basic things properly first.

Let's assume that I have a Fun Quota and it is all used up, so there will no longer be any time-wasting, energy-busting, senseless activities involved anymore.

And for once seriously, do stuffs that I'm fully capable of doing really well and not like coming out with shitty end products that I'm producing of late.

Like the assignment which is due on Monday!!!

and from here on hopefully I'll start to find my way...



fuck you bryan chong you're one piece of shit. better buckle up you ass or else face the fucking consequances.
somebody fucking bitch-slap me pls.

Anonymous I

You and I both agreed that I'm the one who understands you most

I know what you have been
I know what you can be

The only thing I'm not sure of, is what have you become

it's been so long...

You said it's either all or nothing
I'm thinking, I have nothing else to lose

Dangerous.. It's you not me who is dangerous...

swt food for thought -.-